


Youth Hurts

by oyechi



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Awkward reunions, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Moving On, Not Beta Read, Romance, Sexual Tension, Slice of Life, jackjae, markjae - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 20:10:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5347034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oyechi/pseuds/oyechi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time waits for no one & neither does life. </p><p>Life keeps moving forward no matter how unfair it might seem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Youth Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> Another oldie. 
> 
>  
> 
> Hope it's worth the read!

**Choi Youngjae** was 5 years old when he met **Wang Jackson.**

The little boy was eating at a pizza restaurant with his family when he got bored and looked around. He couldn’t understand half of the things his parents were saying; _boring_ stuff. Everything they talked about made no sense to him and it was just so boring, he always fell asleep on the spot! That’s why he begged his parents to give him some cash so he could go to the tiny arcade section of the restaurant. They seemed to understand him since they have him 5 dollars.

He felt like he was on top of the world with those 5 dollars. The possibilities seemed endless to him when he eyed the different machines the restaurant had. None of them shone brighter than the crane machine, though, and he knew at that moment, he was gonna spend all of his money on it. The little boy eyed the cute otter plushie it had as he took out one dollar.

Once he inserted the dollar into the machine, bright colors suddenly started to shine, changing colors and urging Youngjae to play. He looked almost unsure as he stared at it, but with one look at his otter, he felt determined again to get it. His tiny hands pressed the start button and he grabbed the stick, beginning to stir it. Youngjae went straight for the otter; straight ahead then left and below the crane was the otter amongst others. The little boy pressed the button quickly, a little too excited, and watched with big eyes how the crane went to pick up the plushie… only for it to miss and go back to where it started. A giant sorry was plastered on the machine as the lights started to dim just a bit, signaling the game was over.

In that instant, all of his hopes and dreams crashed down on him as he stared at the sorry. He couldn’t believe it. Youngjae clearly saw how the crane had it in its treacherous claws, paws, _whatever_ it was! The little boy calmed himself down by breathing in and out, and he decided to try again. Maybe it had been some sort of glitch the machine had, after all. But like the first time, as the crane went to pick it up, it missed again and the sorry was plastered on the machine. He frowned.

He was starting to dislike this game a lot.

And more than before, the want and need to have that plushie in his hold grew. The little boy inserted another dollar, practically slamming the start button and ignoring the looks people gave him. His adorable little nose flared as he scrunched it into an adorable face. Like the first two times, he stirred it again at the direction of his plushie and aimed for it (he clearly saw it!), and yet, the world seemed determined to go against him that day. It missed again.

Youngjae didn’t bother to hide how frustrated he was. He stomped once, twice, before jumping in the same place to let it out. “Whhhyyyy?!” the poor boy whined, hands on his hair, ready to pull it out any second. “Why can’t you work…?”

At that moment, he heard a chuckle behind him. Youngjae turned around and saw a kid that looked a little older than him. It was a little scary, to be honest, considering he had heard all kinds of rumors of the big kids, that they were mean to little kids like him and liked to do mean things. The stranger didn’t look mean like Youngjae had pictured him to be (his best friend, Park Jinyoung, had personally faced them once and he described them as beings with sharp, pointy teeth like a shark’s and ears like an elf and the list goes on). In fact, he looked no where near mean or that description his friend gave him. He was smiling but it looked normal. And, well, friendly.

Which was weird.

“Need help?” the stranger offered and everything was just so _shady_ to Youngjae. He wasn’t having any of it. The little boy opted to ignore him blatantly and tried again. It was a little more preassuring with the boy boring out holes in his skull, but he managed to ignore it and insert the dollar in. The outcome was obvious but he still wanted to put up some sort of fight anyways. He pressed the start button and began stirring the stick to his plushie for the fourth time. Like all the other times, it missed but more than defeat, he felt a little embarrassed at having lost like that in front of a stranger.

Unsure what to do next, he turned to the stranger only to be shoved gently to the side by the latter. Youngjae stood struck for a moment, blinking many times before registering what happened. “Hey, that wasn’t nice!” he complained now, forgetting his old, irrational fear of the boy.

“Shut up and watch.” The stranger said, his eyes glued not on Youngjae, but on the machine.

Having no choice but to do so, the little boy watched the stranger work his way with the stick. There was something magical about the whole act. Youngjae wasn’t sure what it was, but it just was. The way the stranger held the stick was a bit differently but it couldn’t be that. But maybe it was how the crane somehow grasped the otter that Youngjae was pining for, and how it went through the giant hole and now it was in their hands.

Oh yeah, it was definitely that.

The happiness and excitement Youngjae felt was radiating off him. The little boy’s smile reached up to his ears, giggling all the while as he hugged his new buddy. His eyes turned into two tiny moon crescents and everything about him at that moment was just so lovely (his terribly rosy cheeks, his messy blond hair, his perfect white smile…). He had no idea. “Oh my god!” he exclaimed ecstatic. “How did you do that?!”

The stranger shrugged, smiling at the boy’s reaction. “It’s a secret.”

“Tell me, pleeeaassseeee! I _need_ to know!” Youngjae begged, batting his eyes to see if it had any effect on the stranger.

“Nope!” Guess it didn’t work. _Tch._

“Fine…” he paused. “How about now?”

The stranger laughed out loud now, shaking his head and enjoying his reaction too much. Youngjae pouted. “Okay, fine.”

The latter shifted on his feet, almost shyly. “I’m Choi Youngjae.”

“Wang Jackson.” The stranger, Jackson held out his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

And that was the start of everything.

 

▼▲▼▼▲▼

 

Many years later, both males were close friends and they were half way middle school. Unfortunately for them, they went to separate schools but as a way of making up for the lost time, they went to the arcade. It was always spent well there. They excitedly changed their money for golden tokens and spent it on different machines.

And yes, they always ended back at the same machine that started it all.

Even after all these years, Youngjae is terrible at the crane machine. It was almost like God was determined to make it so because it doesn’t matter if the crane grabs the plushie or not, it will fail no matter what. Jackson was the exception of the machine. Whenever the stick was in his hands and he directed it, it never failed to grab the plushie. During a period, it did make Youngjae a little jealous that his best friend had such talent for it and he didn’t. It quickly disappeared, however, when Jackson gave him an adorable alpaca that he wanted so much. It warmed his chest in the funniest of ways and for the rest of the day, he was smiling up to his ears.

Things started to go downhill during late eight grade. Youngjae was the same as ever, bubbling with happiness and an endless rain of smiles directed towards anyone he shared eye contact with. It attracted many outsiders and although unaware of his growing popularity, there a few that actually dared to go up to the cutie and talk to him. Amongst many of them, there was the mention worthy Mark Tuan. It was known around everyone that he was attracted to the latter except him. He didn’t bother being subtle about his advances to Youngjae because a catastrophe could happen around him and he wouldn’t realize shit until they point out to him. Mark needed to do everything possible to gain his attention for obvious reasons.

Since Youngjae didn’t have much experience, claiming that _he-was-too-busy-for-love_ , AKA, just a lousy excuse for hanging out with Jackson, he was easily affected by every single thing Mark did or said. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t interested in him ‘cuz he was. His heart would skip a beat in a smooth rhythm and jump to the moon and back because of how lovely the latter was being to him.

But let’s be honest, it was nowhere hear to how Jackson makes him feel.

He already knew of his feelings… or at least, he was aware that what he was feeling for his best friend wasn’t normal at all. He couldn’t help it though. How was he supposed to _not_ fall in love with Jackson? All of his endless showers of affection and care with his breathtaking smile, his adorable Wang puppy whenever he tries to make up for a fight, the heart stopping moment when he manages again to get him another plushie, how he makes him feel special and wanted when he ruffles his hair playfully, and basically every single thing that is known as Wang Jackson… how could you not fall in love with him? If Youngjae had known the answer, believe me, he would have chosen not to. Life is just full of surprises…

Just like how Jackson stopped all together waiting for him at the school gate to go to the arcade. To say Youngjae was surprised was an understatement.

He was dumbstruck. Baffled, even.

Never in his life would the thought of Jackson ditching him for once have crossed his mind up until that moment. For once, he was the one looking for his best friend at his school. Sure enough, he was there.

Hanging out with other people.

Youngjae lets it slide that one time, thinking that maybe Jackson had made the mistake of not telling him he wanted to hang with other people. It kept happening, day after day, and the poor boy felt like he had been a dog abandoned by its owner. Why was his best friend suddenly acting like that? He didn’t know. Had he done something wrong? Not that he knows of. He had never felt more confused than at that moment, and thinking it was for the best, he goes to his school.

He should just ask him directly, face to face.

Instead of greeting his best friend awkwardly like he had expected it to be, the reality was harsher. Right a few feet way was Jackson kissing a girl. A _pretty_ girl. She had long, curly light brown hair and big thighs, just like how the latter went on about how much he liked them, and the way she animatedly kissed Jackson back made her seem wild. She seemed to be his ideal type. He should’ve been happy for the latter, he probably got the girl of his dreams, but he wasn’t.

Lying never seemed appealing to Youngjae so he tried never telling lies. It proved to benefit him in any situation of doubt, especially with the teachers, and it had become a part of him. Lying wasn’t in his system and he wasn’t about to start now. The truth hurts so much more than what he thought it would ever be, and no other pain could compare to what he felt at that moment. His heart crumbled miserably into oblivion and like it was on cue, rain started to fall like in an overly cliché movie. The couple noticed the rain and Jackson seemed to laugh before grabbed the girl’s hand, running and looking for shelter from the rain. Youngjae stood there in the rain, getting drenched and looking like a complete fool.

(He tried to ignore the memories of him and Jackson running around in the rain getting drenched in it, very similar to his current state. Youngjae remembers it so clearly the first time they arrived at the latter’s house looking like that. Mrs. Wang came running to them with towels in her hands, scolding them lightly as they dried themselves. What rewarded them was a horrible cold that lasted for days, but they kept doing it again and again. In fact, Mrs. Wang gave up on scolding them for it when she realized they weren’t going to stop any time soon. Those were some of his favorite memories with Jackson, partly because of the petrichor that would always greet Youngjae when he had to go back home and because Jackson always had the weird habit of smelling it off him.)

Youngjae took one hesitant back step, then another, before turning around completely and running away from the scene. He didn’t dare to look back at the scene and instead opted into looking ahead. The wind of the rain was cold against his skin and it seemed to have slapped some senses into him. Never again would he make the mistake of hoping. It had been true that he was hoping for a chance of something more and everything seemed to be going well or so he thought…

As he ran aimlessly, he accidentally crashed into a person. “Ow…” Youngjae whined pathetically, rubbing his butt. The other person seemed to stiffen and for a moment, the latter feared it was Jackson. His heart raced against his chest and he looked everywhere but at the person.

“Youngjae?”

It wasn’t Jackson.

And although he was torn over being disappointed or feeling relieved, he could recognize that warm and deep voice he’s been listening to an awful a lot these past days. It was Mark. Even though his vision was blurry with tears that were threatening to fall and he couldn’t see him that well, he recognized him instantly. And maybe it was because the presence of someone else he knew was so comforting at that moment that he couldn’t help but let tears fall helplessly. Mark looked genuinely surprised and worried, quickly putting his hands on Youngjae’s shoulders so they were looking at each other. “Youngjae? What’s wrong?” he asked, scanning over the latter to see if he had any injuries.

“Is everything okay?” _No, nothing’s okay._

“Are you okay?” _No, I’m nowhere near okay._

“Do you want me to be with you?” _No, I want to be with Jackson…_

Yet for some reason, he still nodded and let himself be taken to his house. Maybe it was for the best that Mark was there. Youngjae wasn’t sure what he would’ve done if he was left alone; maybe not cry at all. He had that bad habit of holding things in for a long time. During the whole way to his house, he cried his heart out, holding onto a handful of Mark’s shirt looking like a kid. The latter didn’t ask anything else, something he was grateful for. When he was about to leave, Youngjae stopped him.

Maybe this was God’s way of telling him to move on and forget about Jackson. What scared him was that he was very willing on forgetting about Jackson. “W-Wait, Mark…  
 Youngjae called out weakly.

Mark turned around, an eyebrow raised. “What is it?”

“Thank you for today.” His cheeks turned rosy. “I really appreciate it.”

That was the first small smile the latter saw Mark smile that day. “Don’t mention it…”

“Would you like some tea or something?” It was true a part of him was hoping for a yes.

“I shouldn’t…” Mark said a little shy.

“I insist!”

He paused for a moment before meeting his eyes. “Well, if you insist…”

It was just a moment ago he was thinking about Jackson. Yet, it only took but a moment to make him forget about his pain.

 

▼▲▼▼▲▼

 

 **Everything** started out as a hasty decision. He was well aware of it. However, at that moment, he desperately needed something to grab onto and his answer was standing right in front of him. It had started out as a rebound, as some people would call it, but as weeks turned to months, it turned into something real and pure. And Youngjae’s never been more sure than ever when he’s with Mark that he’ll never regret being with him.

Sometimes though, his mind tends to wonder around and he finds himself reminiscing the memories he had with his former best friend. It’s still a complete mystery to him as to why Jackson stopped hanging out with him, but he figures as long as the latter is happy then its okay. He hasn’t heard a word of him since that day and it breaks his heart to know that’s all their friendship equaled to. It’s a bad case of nostalgia during rainy days but Mark is always there to cuddle with him under his blankets so it isn’t so bad. His sadness for losing a dear friend is often misunderstood by Mark and he always needs to reassure him everything is okay.

“Is he really just a friend?” Mark asked one day when they were in Youngjae’s room, doing some homework together, clearly bothered by it with his eyebrows furrowed. It was raining that day and he knew how the latter gets during those days.

Youngjae sighed and held his hand tight. “Yes, he was.”

“Then why do you always look so sad whenever I ask about him?”

“Because… because it brings up bad memories.” He explained the best he could. “We sort of got separated from each other suddenly.”

The latter kissed his forehead and held his gaze. “But you have me now…”

“I know…”

“ _And_?”

“And I’m eternally lucky for it.” Youngjae smiled cutely, his cheeks turning rosy. He secretly loved it when his boyfriend was clingy.

It was obvious that Mark liked his answer as he smiled widely, his face flushing a bit. “Do you mean that?”

“Yes.”

After that, the latter didn’t bring it up again.

 

▼▲▼▲▼▲

 

Months eventually turned into years and both males had graduated from middle school and now high school. It was almost scary how time passed by so quickly in a blink of an eye and how everything changed so drastically. The park nearby their old high school is no longer there. Instead of a park was now a big mall that the couple frequented to. Their favorite noodle restaurant just a few blocks away from their university had closed down. Apparently, business hadn’t been going well for them. The book store where Youngjae buys all of his books moved somewhere else far away because the location wasn’t good. Everything around them kept changing constantly, but they had also changed during the process.

Youngjae decided it was a go for a change the next day after his graduation from high school. His boyfriend had accompanied him for support and because he also claimed he wanted a fresh start too. After looking at a book of hairstyles, the cutie suddenly stopped at a page and pointed at an illustration. Unlike the latter, Mark knew what he wanted already and he laughed at his boyfriend simplicity and childish behavior. The stylist then nodded their head and start with the much needed transformation. A few hours later, Youngjae had blond hair and Mark has dark brown hair. Both males blushed at each other’s appearance because they looked damn nice with their new styled hair.

They also decided it was time to take another big step in their lives: move in together. It was something that both males wanted to do ever since half way high school when Youngjae casually mentioned it during a conversation. “It’d be so cool if one day we live together!” the latter said dreamily, the scene so clear in his head.

Mark almost spits his drink and he visibly blushed, caught off guard by his boyfriend comment. “W-What?” he squealed out.

Youngjae laughed at his reaction. “I mean, yeah!” his eyes sparkled as he spoke. “Like when I get home, you’ll be already cooking for us. Then we finish eating, I was the dishes and we talk. It’d be so nice!”

He nodded, the thought slowly becoming more exciting by the second, and blinked once or twice when the realization hit him. _Youngjae wanted to live with him._ To say he was happy was an understatement.

He was overjoyed. “Yeah,” Mark continued along. “And then we can get a pet dog—,”

“Blackie!” Youngjae interrupted, beaming with happiness.

And then they went on about what kind of house they wanted, what color it should be, and everything else.

The couple settled for an apartment that was close to the university and it had a cheap rent. It had one master bedroom, a master bathroom, a guest room, a small living room and a nice, comfy kitchen for two. It was a bit awkward (the good kind) when they finished unpacking and were starting to live together. They would often bump into each other while one worked in the kitchen and then get shy over the small skin contact. It was a little ridiculous because they had long gotten past that stage already, the too-much-sexual-tension phase, and yet they still get shy over it. It didn’t last long though because afterword, they became natural around each other.

(In fact, sometimes those small contacts weren’t small at all and they playfully teased each other. The first time it happened was when Youngjae was washing the dishes when Mark walked by him and subtly groped his ass. The latter let out a squeak and looked at his boyfriend embarrassed, to which this one replied with a wide smirk. “What’s wrong?” Mark mocked. “You seem… troubled.” Youngjae hoped his mental fuck you was somehow heard and he continued on as if he hadn’t felt or heard him. The other suddenly wraps his arm around him in a back hug, except his hands traveled south. Youngjae grunts, suddenly distracted by the warmth oh his boyfriend.

“M-Mark,” he growled. “Get your hands off me.”

“Aw, but baby, you seem to like it.” This one nibbled his ear before thoroughly sucking it.

Needless to say, they had to take it to the room.)

The next big change was, of course, university. It wasn’t all that different from high school the people were and so was the system. Youngjae had been so nervous during the first day because he was in a different department from Mark. While he was in Music and Arts, his boyfriend was in the Math department. Mark had always been gifted in Math unlike Youngjae and he wished to be a Math teacher one day. The latter supported him more than anyone because he knew how well he explained. But as the day went by, the cutie was able to make some friends (Im Jaebum and Han Sanghyuk) and trade numbers with with them. Mark was glad for him.

But what about Wang Jackson?

Youngjae doesn’t know. The last thing he had heard about the latter was that he was leaving back to Hong Kong. Apart from that, his feelings for the latter are dead. Gone forever. What he formerly felt for Wang Jackson, he now feels for Mark Tuan and he doesn’t want it any other way. He wasn’t sure how he would react after not seeing him for so long, but of course; life never goes the way one wants to.

It happened on a rainy afternoon when Youngjae was just leaving class. It had started to pour down heavily and he bit his lip when he realized he didn’t have an umbrella with him. He should’ve listened to Mark’s nagging in the morning. He had warned him about the rain but he shrugged it off because the weatherman was always wrong… except that day.

The boy checked his watch and realized he didn’t have time to be waiting there. Youngjae had promised to meet up with some old friends at a café nearby and he couldn’t leave them waiting. Without thinking twice, he ran in the rain, hoping he wouldn’t be too wet when he arrives. Obviously his wish wouldn’t come true.

It seemed as if he was the first one to arrive at the café, and he pouted because he ran in the rain for nothing. The owners of the café were kind enough to lend him a towel to dry himself with and he thanked them with a smile. He had to admit he was a bit cold and it helped drying himself. Youngjae politely returned the towel and sat at the reserved table. One of the workers brought him a menu and he took it gladly, looking over it briefly. He wasn’t really hungry after all.

After a minute or two, the door bell rang again and Youngjae looked up instinctively, thinking it was a friend. He was partly right. Just add the former to best friend and there you have it.

It was none other than Wang Jackson.

Their eyes met immediately and both males were surprised to see each other there. Youngjae blinked many times, finding it hard to form words because dammit, he hadn’t seen him since that time and so many unresolved feelings were suddenly overflowing him. His eyes glossed with emotion but it then turned into a frown, his eyebrows knitted in anger, and then he was half smiling. His face was a mess and he wasn’t sure why.

Jackson seemed equally torn with raw emotion but unlike Youngjae, he managed a smile despite everything. He waved awkwardly at the latter and he was about to approach him when Youngjae got up and punched him in the face. Everyone around him was surprised at his sudden outburst and so was he, but how could he just sit there when his best friend had completely cut off all ties with him? After so many years of avoiding him and not once facing him, he expects him to wave back like an idiot? Fuck no. Youngjae was human after all. The other stumbled a few steps back but he didn’t seem surprised like the rest. “Guess I deserved that…” Jackson said as he laughed humorlessly.

“Yeah, you did.” Youngjae said coldly.

“Why don’t we talk?” And as much as Youngjae wanted to refuse, he didn’t. He would finally know the mystery of back then, the mystery that haunted him during rainy days like that afternoon. They sat down back at the table he was sitting at first and ordered some water for now.

It was silent at first since Jackson was staring at him intently. The latter felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze and he shifted in his seat, hoping Jackson got the hint. He didn’t. “You dyed your hair.”

“Yeah… I wanted a fresh start.” Youngjae explained, feeling awkward.

“It looks nice.” He said with a small, awkward smile.

Youngjae pointed at his hair. “And your hair is also nice.” It did look nice actually. He had forgotten that Jackson used to have brown hair like him, but now it was black and long. It was styled in a way so you would be able to see his eyes easily, and he noted his eyes still had that mysterious glint to them that he once loved.

Jackson chuckled now, rubbing his neck (and maybe a little shy). “Thanks…”

Their water arrives and so do one of Youngjae’s friends, Byun Baekhyun, with someone else that the latter didn’t know. The guy was freakishly taller than all of them and when he smiled, one of his eyes twitched a bit but he figured this was the guy his friend had been gossiping about (Park something…). Youngjae knew their conversation would have to be put off for a while but he wasn’t complaining. Being alone with Jackson after so many years was weird, and it was only then he realized that he being there was weird too. Wasn’t he in Hong Kong or something? He would later ask Baekhyun, he mentally noted. He was the one that arranged this meeting.

He hadn’t changed much surprisingly. Youngjae had assumed he had since the group of kids he started to hang out with were a tad abnormal. Then again, Jackson had never been normal to start with.

His smile is still breathtakingly beautiful when he laughs, a laugh so rich and pleasant to listen to just like back then, and he still has a good nose. Youngjae had to stifle a laugh because he was supposed to be angry, but Jackson literally smelled the food a mile a way. He looked like a dog wagging its tail, waiting to be feed. At the back of his mind, Youngjae can somehow remember a scene that was identical to the scene playing out in front of him and it was just so ridiculous, it was funny. If anything changed, he was a bit tamer. Mature, even. Back during early middle school, Jackson whistled at girls and boys alike when he passed by. If he caught their attention, he would flash them a blinding smile as he wrote his number on their arm. It was always so embarrassing to be there to witness it, partly frustrating, and Youngjae would continue walking away with his cheeks puffed adorably. You also couldn’t discuss a serious topic with him at all because you’d either end up laughing your ass off or get mad at him for not being serious at all.

Forgetting about the past for now, Youngjae decides to enjoy the scene playing before him. He catches up with some friends and laughs at the jokes they say. He answers without any problem since most of questions are simple, ignoring Jackson’s stare whenever he answered. They all ate when the food they ordered came and all that was heard fir a moment were the _“Ugh, this is so good”_ , _“Hmmh’s’_ , and of course, _“I feel so fat”_. When they finished, some of them had to go while some lingered around but not for so long. Just like they were the first ones to arrive, they were the last to leave.

Both males were about to leave when they realized one, it was still raining and two, neither had an umbrella. “How come you don’t have an umbrella?” Youngjae asked, looking over at him.

The older boy shrugged. “Someone dropped me off.”

All Youngjae knew was that he was staring blankly at the rain then the next second, he was pulled into the rain by Jackson. It happened quickly; how Jackson was holding his hand and they were both running in the rain. Memories flashed before his eyes, back to the time of when they were still close to each other, of when there was no feeling involved. It was all too bittersweet for Youngjae. He did after all prefer happy ending than moments like this. Running around like this reminded him of how painfully naïve he had been, but it also reminded of his dear Mark. His chest felt warm at the memory of conversation with him but it just reminded him of the first reason why he even turned to him in the first place. His eyes started to glisten from all the emotions and let the fall, reasoning that telling apart tears from rain is a hard thing to do. Youngjae hadn’t realized they had stopped running under the rain and were now near an arcade. “I’m sorry for suddenly avoiding you,” Jackson started to say quietly, catching the cutie’s attention.

“And for everything else that came after and I would understand why you wouldn’t want to be here with me… but can I make a selfish request?”

Youngjae didn’t say anything because if he still knew his former best friend like he used to, then the request would be easy.

“Let’s play together again like good old times.”

It sounded easy and it was, bit it wasn’t near as comfortable as it used to be. Instead of playing the crane machine, they played all the other ones first. Air hockey was one of their favorites (second to the crane machine) and one of the games that heated both males up. Youngjae was better at this game, aiming at all the corners Jackson couldn’t reach because he was too short to reach. Although he was better at this game, he still couldn’t let his guard down because whenever he did, the older boy would score a point. After air hockey came shooting games and Youngjae loved but hated these games. He never had the greatest eye sight and shooting poor zombies was simply not his cup of tea, but it brought an undeniable trill to him whenever he did. Besides, watching Jackson get so happy about it was the funniest sight; he would jump in joy and clap his hand like some fangirl whenever he wins the game. After shooting games was racing games and these weren’t exactly their favorite since it was the same thing over and over again. The only “racing” game they loved was Crazy Taxi and it was because it was different from others. You could crash into anyone or anything but as long as you made it, it was okay to do so… all of these games brought them so much joy and yet now, it was awkward.

When Youngjae won a game, he would jump and laugh in joy which usually resulted with the other joining him along. Now, Jackson simply stared at him and smiled a little. They didn’t high five each other anymore like they used to. The setting from back then was the same but the rest had changed. The damage their friendship took was still present and the distance between them was evidence of it. Deciding it was for the best, they went to the crane machine.

Youngjae still sucked at it. Even after he played this game for who knows how many times, he still sucked at it. He did like he always did. He inserted the dollar bill into the machine and bright colors suddenly started to shine, changing colors and bringing life to the machine. A sudden wave of nostalgia washed over him and he smiled a little because he still had the otter somewhere in his apartment. He grabbed the stick and started to direct it toward the cute dog plushie at the corner of the machine; straight ahead then a right and then it was below the crane. Youngjae pressed the button quickly, a little more excited than he should be, and watched all over again how life in unfair to him. The crane certainly went for it; it was within its grasp and yet, it missed anyways.

He was starting to remember why he disliked this game.

The lights flashed a giant sorry at his face and he didn’t bother to hide the frustration he felt. He let out a grunt and he pouted when he heard Jackson laughing his ass off. “You’re still so bad at this…” he said, shaking his head and wiping a tear from his eye. “Step aside and let the master work his magic.”

Although he wanted to curse at his face, he stepped aside because his former best friend wasn’t kidding when he called himself a master. The latter inserted a dollar bill into the machine and waited for the lights to go on. He quickly pressed the start button and wrapped his fingers around the stick. Without wasting time, he directed the crane to the dog plushie Youngjae wanted; straight, right and below. Jackson pressed the button swiftly like it was a part of him, and the cutie couldn’t believe it. He somehow managed to do it again. The crane grabbed the plushie and deposited it into the bin.

Jackson grabbed the plushie and stared at it for a long time. “The reason why I avoided you all this time was because,” he paused, unintentionally making Youngjae’s heart race faster than it already was. “Because… I liked you.”

He laughed bitterly now. “I was in denial all this time because it wasn’t normal to feel that way about your friend. But then that guy was doing what I wanted to do so easily and I felt frustrated.” He paused again, breathing steadily. “That’s why I did _that_.”

It was hard to hold back the tears but he somehow managed to. “T-That?” Youngjae asked, breathing out shakily.

“I kissed a girl back then.” A memory of that day pops up in Youngjae’s mind. “Thought it would make me back to normal…”

“But it didn’t.”

There were cracks forming in his little, fragile heart. This was all too much to take in all at one time…

“I knew you were with that guy. I tried to move one but I figured I wouldn’t be able to until you knew the real reason. So I came here today to say this.”

The latter was crying already, his face red and eyes shut as he shed tears. His tears tasted salty and he was so sure he would later have a headache. Jackson handed over the plushie and smiled one last time before turning around to leave. Youngjae was quick to react and grabbed his arm, stopping him from leaving. It would have been unfair if he left without knowing his part of the story. “I… I liked you too…” he sobbed.

The older boy turned around surprised at his confession, but then he grabbed Youngjae’s hand and let his hand linger there for a moment. The grip started to loosen because the latter knew what this meant. “I’m sorry.” Jackson said, kissing softly his forehead before leaving again. “And thank you, Youngjae.”

Goodbye, Wang Jackson.


End file.
